Emotion alert! From time to time I will simply mention my state of mind. These are not cries for help or need for pity or hugs. Just a simple state of mind.
I’ve been so concerned in comforting Allison that she will be ok when missing the dogs that I am just now recognizing that I am going to miss the dogs myself. The weight of everything is crushing. For two days I have simply been angry. Waking up mad, brooding all day and going to bed the same. I’m sure it is just part of the process. Onwards. Tomorrow is another day.
The moon looks almost full out of the 9th floor window of our apartment in Ottawa. I can hear the cars below. Haven’t heard city noise since I moved back to the country 19 years ago. We are here for tonight and tomorrow for our pre-transplant meeting. 8:30 AM. Not bad for Allison who is used to such hours. Not so much for me. Eyes will be held open with sugar and caffeine. We are both excited for this appointment. This is where they will tell us what to expect over the first half of the procedure. Lots of questions will be answered tomorrow.
Today we stopped by www.caralynswigs.com to get started on Allison’s hairless preparation. We picked a wig which suited her and set a date for Allison to come back between chemo phase #1 and stem cell harvesting. This follow-up appointment is to ‘shave’ her head before the hair decides to fall out in clumps. There are so many scary and uncomfortable parts to this trip but taken slowly they are manageable. Allison was at first very emotional about losing her hair but quickly warmed up to the idea as she considered the big picture.
On a side note. I have been reading through all the messages that continue to roll in. As a family we have read through them and they are all so incredibly important. You have all given us such great stories and words of encouragement. I hope you will feel comfortable enough to continue leaving messages as this blog grows.