We were extremely lucky to have both of the girls visit us this weekend. Allison had not seen them since we left and it was good for the family soul for us all to be together. We had some great times and ate some wonderful food.
On Friday night the girls and I went to the movies. I would usually say that I took the girls out for the night as this fits the parent child model. However, upon reflection I have to say that the girls took me out for the night.
I fully admit that during dinner prep and cleanup I was a bit of a jerk. Just being out of sorts and perhaps a bit over sensitive to things. Caitlyn drove to the cinema and made it clear at one point that she “knew how to drive.” At one point Cassidy looked me in the eyes and said “take a deep breath”, I did and then she said “now take another.” I knew at this point that my children were both letting me know my state of mind. Even if I did not.
Day by day I am going through this process with Allison and it is easy to get lost in the journey and as well fight the knowledge that “this is really tough and perhaps I am not doing fine.” Prior to the movies I had to have some words with both of my children. I explained that things here were stressful. I apologized for my behaviour and we switched gears to enjoy the rest of the night.
Learning from our children is a gift that I have been keenly aware of for a long time. How to play. How to relax. How to enjoy things like a child. But now that my girls are young adults it is getting clearer that trying to shield them from “adult” issues is not beneficial for anybody. They are growing up and I can lean on them as they have me in the past.
This weekend the girls game for a visit and they took me out for a much needed night. Love you both so much.
Yesterday Allison started the next course of pills with a high dose of anti-seizure meds which will continue for a the week ahead leading to the terrifying 8 days of chemotherapy starting this Saturday. Today her mobility is reacting poorly to the meds and we are reminded that this break has been nice, however there are some bumpy roads ahead. Hold on folks...